Oh, hello. I suppose you're wondering who runs this blog?
Well, this is me.
Woah. You went long.
Try zooming in just a little bit.
Still, I'm a little more specific than the entire country of New Zealand.
Are you using Google Maps?
Ok that's my roof.
You're getting really close now. That's me in my living room with my toddler.
Now, slow down otherwise you'll--
Back up a bit. And maybe tilt round if you actually want to see my face. Which is the customary way of greeting people where I'm from. As opposed to descending from the cosmos like some king of weirdo overlord.
What a rollercoaster we've been through.
I thought rather than ramble about myself on this page I'd let you ask me anything you want. Go ahead, it's fine.
Q: How old are you?
Q: Where did you grow up?
I was born and raised in England. Pip pip! Tally ho! Tea and crumpets and spam! I emigrated when I was 23.
Q: What's that weird island you live on now?
It's called New Zealand. You know... Lord of the Rings. Frodo. The ring.
We have nice scenery. And birds that evolved without any predators for 80 million years so they forgot how to fly.
Q: Oh, I know New Zealand! You have that cool prime minister.
That's right! Jacinda. She's a superwoman.
Q: Who do you live with?
I live with my partner, Pete, and two other flatmates who tantrum and puke on me and never pay rent.
Q: Do you mean your children?
Q: How did they let you be a parent?
It's not right, is it? There should be rules. How can we ensure our future as a species when any idiot like me can have kids?
Q: Actually, that sounds a bit totalitarian.
Your words, not mine.
Q: Those were literally your words.
Q: How are you qualified to write a science blog?
I'm doing a science degree, as no-one will hire you to be a science writer without a degree. I'm majoring in Zoology because evolution.
Q: You know, for a writer, your grammar isn't really that strong.
Whenever I say something wrong just assume irony. It's got me out of a lot of scrapes in the past.
Q: What are you plans for 2020?
Q: How about 2021?
Q: What keeps you going when all hope for the future is lost?
Writing helps me retreat from the existential terror of being. Almost exclusively, I write science non-fiction and science fiction.
Occasionally I write stories for my kids. They're always about time travel, monkeys, or time travelling monkeys.
Q: Can I go now? I need a stiff drink.
Wait! Aren't you going to tell me about yourself first?
Q: Are you insane? You're literally speaking for me.
Don't ruin the... gah.
Q: One last question.
Q: What's your blood type?
It's concerning you would ask me that.
Q: What is it? I need to know. For emergencies.
I guess. It's O+. Technically, I can give blood to most people. O+, A+, B+, AB+. But they won't let me because I lived in Britain in the 1990s and ate beef so might have Mad Cow Disease.
Q: Ohhhh. K. A lot makes sense now.
Hey, no! Don't think that. That was just a fun fact, I don't actually think I have a neurodegenerative disorder.
Q: Look, I trust doctors more than I trust bloggers.
Q: I really have to go now because the internet is such a huge time suck and I have real world things to do. It was fun talking to you, let's do it again sometime. Etc!
Ok, sure. Come back soon ok?? This blog is going to be my life-blood one day. I just need the readers to help me share my--